im in need of laughs. haha. got jokes or something funny to say? haha. lay it on me. lets see what do i have to say....lemme see. haha. ill think of something. hold on. alright i got one. haha ok here we go.
there was once a very old couple who were deeply in love with eachother. theyve been married for 70 years and nothing stood in between their love. sadly, one day, the old man died of a heart attack. deeply saddened by this, the old woman decided to commit suicide. she had no reason to live if her loving husband wasnt with her. she wanted to die the least painful way and decided that death by gunshot would be best since its instant. she went and bought the nicest gun she could find and came home. she aimed at where she though her heart was and then thought, "what if my heart isnt right here? then i would still be alive and suffer serious pain. maybe i should ask a doctor exactly where it is." so the next day she went and asked her doctor where her heart is exactly. the doctor tells her that its located right under her left breast. satisfied, the old woman went home and was ready to commit suicide. she aimed the gun exactly under her left breast as the doctor told her. she closed her eyes....and pulled the trigger. cops near by heard the gunshot and quickly rushed in. they called the ambulance and took her to the hospital. she was treated for a gunshot to the left knee.
haha. ok thats kinda long. i dont remember exactly how it goes but thats pretty much it. haha. do you get it? haha. here ill give you a hint. saggy boobs. . youre turn!
lol...how disgusting. well here's one that made me laugh =]
(RINGING)
**Pick Up**
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She''s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven''t got an Uncle
Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he''s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"
Brief Pause
"Uh, okay then ?this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down
on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to
Mommy that Daddy''s car just pulled into the driveway"
"Okay Daddy, just a minute"
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey?" he asked
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn''t moving at all!"
"Oh no!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared
and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I
guess he didn''t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he''s dead"
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause**
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool ... Is this 486-5731?
. youre turn!
